A Thought-Provoking Conversation: Exploring Utilitarianism and Deontology

This evening, I had an enriching video call with my daughter Stephanie. Our conversations are always a blend of warmth and curiosity, but today’s discussion left me deeply reflective. She introduced me to two fascinating philosophical concepts—utilitarianism and deontology. What started as a casual chat quickly evolved into an exploration of ethics, decision-making, and how these ideas resonate with my own leadership journey and personal values.

Stephanie explained these philosophies in a way that made them instantly relatable. Utilitarianism is a moral framework that focuses on outcomes, where the right action is the one that produces the greatest good for the greatest number. It’s practical, outcome-driven, and often involves weighing the benefits and harms of every decision. On the other hand, deontology emphasizes principles and duties. Actions are considered right or wrong based on their inherent morality, regardless of the outcomes. It’s about integrity, consistency, and respect for rules or universal principles. These two schools of thought may seem at odds, but as Stephanie and I discussed further, I realized they often coexist in the complex realities of decision-making, especially in leadership.

As we delved deeper, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own approach to work and life. Stephanie asked me where I thought I fit between these two philosophies. After some thought, I concluded that I lean toward deontology but with a practical appreciation for utilitarianism when it aligns with fairness and shared benefit.

I’ve always believed in the importance of integrity and fairness. Whether it’s coaching team leaders, addressing audit findings, or improving operational processes, I strive to uphold principles that foster trust and consistency. My focus on respecting people’s dignity reflects the deontological idea of treating individuals as ends, not means. Coaching conversations and team development are about empowering others, not simply achieving organizational goals. At the same time, I recognize the value of outcomes. In operational decisions—like digitizing documentation or balancing workloads—I often evaluate how changes will benefit the team and improve efficiency. I also strive to balance well-being and results, ensuring that practical benefits don’t come at the expense of fairness or emotional impact.

One key takeaway from our conversation was how emotional intelligence (EI) serves as a bridge between these two philosophies. EI helps me navigate ethical gray areas by bringing in empathy, self-awareness, and perspective. Empathy ensures I consider how decisions affect individuals emotionally, aligning with deontological respect for people. Self-regulation allows me to stay calm and principled in high-pressure situations, preventing impulsive or purely outcome-driven decisions. Social skills enable me to communicate effectively and collaboratively resolve conflicts, balancing ethical rules with team harmony.

This conversation with Stephanie reminded me of the importance of staying reflective and intentional in my leadership. Here’s how I plan to apply these insights: I will continue to reinforce core principles, leading with integrity, fairness, and respect to ensure these values remain non-negotiable in my decisions. I will also balance outcomes and ethics, evaluating practical benefits while staying true to my principles, especially in areas like process improvements and team coaching. Furthermore, I aim to develop emotional intelligence further, investing time in honing my EI skills to navigate ethical dilemmas with empathy and clarity. Lastly, I want to start sharing my ethical insights by documenting and sharing my approach to principled leadership, blending philosophies like deontology and utilitarianism to inspire others.

What made this conversation with Stephanie so special wasn’t just the intellectual stimulation but how it connected to my own experiences and aspirations. Philosophical ideas like utilitarianism and deontology may seem abstract, but they have real-world relevance in shaping how we lead, decide, and relate to others. As I continue my journey in leadership and personal growth, this discussion has deepened my resolve to lead with both principles and pragmatism. Thanks to Stephanie, I have a fresh perspective and renewed energy to approach the challenges and opportunities ahead.

Now, I’m curious—where do you think you fit between these two philosophies?